Remembering Vaiva

It's hard to believe how fast the years have passed from meeting Vaiva (and Jim) at MIT in 1971 to saying goodbye to a barely responsive Vaiva in the hospital last Thursday. All of the time has been a gift, with countless warm and wonderful memories that Vaiva, Jim, and our friends created. Making Pashka. Slicing potatoes (and my finger) for a meal. Getting Vaiva's krupnikas recipe, making a batch before I was married, sharing the last of that batch with Jim and Vaiva and Gail and Joe and Larry and other friends late last year…and started a new batch in December. Many third weekends in October. Playing dictionary. Apple cider. The garden, with all its hard-to-find fruits and vegetables. North Hudson. Vaiva's amazing support of her country. Jim's even more amazing support of Vaiva. Four marvelous children...each time I encounter them, I learn a little more, and wonder at the small and large miracles we create and sometimes take for granted.

This could be a sad occasion, and it is. By rights, Vaiva and Jim should have had many more years together. Jim's observation that Sunday was the first time in 37 years he was waking up without Vaiva stilled my heart. There is so, so, so much to mourn.

Also, so, so, so much lightness to recall, as well. I find myself with tears in my eyes, yet smiling just the same.

Thank you, Vaiva, for the light you brought to my life and that of so many others. I hope you've found true peace and grace, as you always seemed to posses when you were physically among us. And may those qualities continue to bless Jim, your family, your friends, and the Lithuanian community as your heart-filled energy echoes through the years.

--Mark