Condolences from Paul Martin

Jim,

I opened my Epsilon Theta Alumni Newsletter today and there was a nice
note about Vaiva's passing. I have no words to express my sympathy for
you and your family. I remember Vaiva as a wonderful, vibrant person who
was a blessing to all who had the privilege of knowing her. I was not
entirely surprised to hear her voice one day on NPR, working in support
of her beloved Lithuania. I am sorry that we have not kept in touch, so
this note is horribly late. I hope that the memory of the good times you
shared together will give you strength at this difficult time.

Paul Martin

My letter to Epsilon Theta

30 April 2009, Durham CT

Dear Epsilon Thetans:

It is with infinite sadness that I report to you the death of your alumna, my wife, Vaiva R. Vebra, on December 13, 2008. She pledged ET of SN in September 1971, became a member in January 1972, and served as Rush Chairman in September 1973, a notably successful Rush that quite literally saved the fraternity. Vaiva resided at 259 St. Paul St. until she graduated with a BS in biology in 1975.

You will find additional biographical details at myvaiva.blogspot.com. At the time of her final illness, Vaiva was serving as counselor for education matters to the President of Lithuania, Valdas Adamkus. Earlier she was a Deputy Minister of Education in Lithuania, and still earlier she founded a private voluntary organization to promote the cause of education reform in newly independent Lithuania, after the fall of the U.S.S.R. The American Professional Partnership for Lithuanian Education (a.p.p.l.e.) provided in-service teacher training to fully one third of Lithuania’s educators over roughly 15 years.

I should have written to you earlier, but I’m having a difficult time of it. I joined ET of SN in 1970, the first year of “coedity.” I was the pledge trainer for the critical pledge class of 1971, the rush chairman for the disastrous rush of September 1972, Commander for 1973, the spring when the Dean’s office almost shut us down. (I think that they did shut us down, prospectively, but then changed their minds.) One consequence of that dreadful spring was that I did not graduate with my class in 1974, but instead graduated with a double major in 1975.

Many of the photos on your website from this period were taken by Vaiva or by me. I’ve posted some additional photos on the blog, labeled “MIT student days.”

Vaiva and I were among the first couples from SN of ET to marry, I don’t know if you keep track of that information. I also expect we were among the first to have children, that is, children whose parents are both ETers.

Enclosed please find the fulfillment of a $1,000 pledge I made on our behalf some years ago, when you were undertaking renovations.

Sincerely,

James B. Gust ‘75

ET of SN 500

Back on the mountain

I believe that this photo is from the ski trip to Pleasant Mountain, so it goes with this one.

A moment of history

Scott Fulton and Joe Sacco are reviewing drafts of a document restating the purpose and operation of our "co-ed fraternity." This would be during their freshman year (also Vaiva's freshman year, they were in the same pledge class), probably spring 1972, which was the second year of "co-ed living." The document was prepared in anticipation of attending Sigma Nu's "Grand Chapter" meeting in the summer of 1972, where we would futilely ask for a waiver to allow initiation of our women members.

When the document was completed, it was bound with a yellow cover. Hence, it came to known as the "yellow bomb."

This document was both idealistic and naive. It glossed over certain inevitable facts of life that are inherent to men and women living together, and so it boomeranged upon us during the 1972-73 academic year.

In the back right corner sits Safwan Bengelloun. I accompanied Safwan for a one-month visit to his family in Morocco in January 1972.

More studying

Brenda Hankins writes

Such sad news.

I arrived at ET in '78 - later than you and Vaiva, but you two were legendary and did still show up there on occasion. So I have always noticed mention of Vaiva's Lithuanian work. The passion was evident even from this distance on the West Coast. If we all strove to make such an impact, the world would be a much better place.

While you would have no reason to remember me, I shall never forget you two as I spent a memorable Thanksgiving (along with Phil Dordai and Steve Hazelrig) in 1979 at your N.Hudson cabin. Tho' you had not previously met me, I was graciously welcomed. The food, all from an issue of Gourmet (a magazine with which I was unfamiliar at the time), was inspirational especially in contrast to the primitive surroundings. Two of those recipes became part of my annual repertoire thus prompting me to regularly think of you.

Wishing you the very best moving forward,

Brenda (Hankins) Troisi
btroisi@spiritone.com

Meredith Warshaw writes

I'm so sorry to learn of your loss. Your blog is a wonderful remembrance of Vaiva. Looking through the College Days section reminded me of meeting both of you when I was a pledge, when you were new grads and seemed oh so grown-up and dignified to this freshman. I remember what an impression Vaiva made on me - serious and vibrant.

You are both in my thoughts.

Best,

Meredith
mwarshaw@uniquelygifted.org

At the beach

Some people build sand castles at the beach.
MIT students build replicas of the Institute,

Vaiva with Scott Fulton, and just behind is Larry Hardy.
I'm not certain why this photo looks more aged than the rest,
it might have been an effect Vaiva created deliberately.

Vaiva really loved the ocean.

Another fraternity photo

Kim Roddis, who sent the post below, unknown date.

Thinking of Vaiva

Jim:

I was just reading your blog. I think of Vaiva, but have not contacted you before about her. My condolences. Some thoughts below.

Kim

Remembering Vaiva I think of maturity, quiet, strength, gentleness, her hospitality and generosity. I remember noting at one visit to her home that she had a variety of home baked pies to offer drop in guests. My favorite cookbook, The Silver Palate, is one I got because Vaiva recommended it. I once planted bulbs with her. Although Lindsey and I did not keep in touch with Vaiva and Jim after we moved to the Midwest, I followed news of her activities at a distance, always admiring her. Looking at Jim’s blog, the photos of Vaiva’s flowers growing and blooming resonate.

Kim Roddis

--  --  ******************************************************  W. M. Kim Roddis, Ph.D., P.E., F.ASCE Professor and Chair  Civil and Environmental Engineering Department  School of Engineering and Applied Science  The George Washington University  801 22nd Street NW  Washington, DC 20052 USA   Phone: (202) 994-4901  Fax:(202) 994-0127  Email:roddis@gwu.edu  WEB:www.cee.seas.gwu.edu  ****************************************************** 

One of my favorites

Vaiva is writing something.
She had blue stuffed dog, it is by her left arm.

In the Diane Arbus mood

At the time I was an MIT student, 1970 - 1975, the head of the photography department was Minor White. He was a celebrity, I never had him as a professor, but I saw him in the department from time to time. I had three semesters of photography, and they were the most interesting classes I had.

Alas, I don't recall who taught the first two courses I took, but the third semester was run by Tod Papageorge. He was a rising star in the world of art photography, one who seemed bored to be teaching us, we could tell that MIT was a just short-term paying gig for him. In 1979, he moved on to head the photography department at Yale. Still, I feel that I owe him a debt, as he introduced me to Eugene Atget, Garry Winogrand, and especially Diane Arbus, among many others, and I learned something about how to think about photographs and art from him.

I found this 2007 interview with Papageorge, and it all comes rushing back. The way he describes and analyzes photographs, quite distinctve, quite unchanged.

Below is the only photograph I took for which Professor Papageorge indicated any approval.

Snowshoeing in the Adirondacks

I was taking photography courses at MIT, as was Vaiva. Some of the photos, such as these two, are prints that one of us made in the photo lab, so the edges are irregular.

I mentioned earlier that Vaiva's father had a hunting cabin in the Adirondacks, in North Hudson, which is north of Schroon Lake yet south of Lake Placid. A few of us from the fraternity would go there to camp, even in the winter. There was no heat in the house, or running water, but there was electricity, a fireplace and a wood stove.

In these two photos, Vaiva is putting on and then using her snowshoes for a walk in the pine forest.

Vaiva on her desk

With Bill Dynan and Joe Sacco.

Chapter room meeting

Some sort of very serious meeting in the Chapter room, which, oddly enough, was never used for Chapter meetings because it was too small, it was really just a second living room. Chapter meetings (or, more properly, House meetings) took place in the dining room, where there were enough chairs for everyone.

If the fellow in left foreground with his back to the camera is Bill Conklin, this would be Vaiva's junior year. She, of course, is in front of the fake fireplace. The guy with his legs under her chair, with the plaid pants, is Clark Walter, who was the Regional Commander for Sigma Nu. We were on a kind of probation for having women members in our living group, and Clark's job was to "monitor" us. We totally won him over.

Mike Lowry is on the floor in front of Clark. I recognize, but don't recall the name, of the guy in the chair.

Unconventional front porch

An unusual front porch shot which,
judging from the crop marks, we did publish sometime.
Vaiva is with Dave Kerski and Bob Buerschaper.

Friends

Vaiva took portraits for her "rush book," of which these two are particularly striking

Margy Meyer.

John Kowaleski

Studying with Bill Dynan

This photo is in Vaiva's study room, with Bill Dynan, who posted last December here. Look on the left side of the photo, there is a rectangular thingy with something in the middle. That is a primitive loom that Vaiva always seemed to have with her. In the middle of it is a partially finished juosta, a Lithuanian sash (or in this case, really more like a ribbon). Some people knit for relaxation, Vaiva made sashes.

More Lithuanian dinner

I wrote about Vaiva's extravagant Lithuanian dinners here.
I discovered two more photos from that event.

Bob Brookes displays the dessert.

Vaiva studying