Autumn, 1972

This photo, taken at Schroon Lake, in the Adirondacks, was part of a photography project I did. Vaiva's father owned a hunting cabin in the woods in North Hudson, about ten miles to the north, and small groups from the fraternity would go for a retreat there from time to time.

Later I will scan and post some of the other shots from that set, created in 1972.

Another memorial gift

Hello All,

This is to let you know that the following A.P.P.L.E. members: Vida Gavin, Katie Hoyle, Gita Kupcinskas, Ilona Laucius, Laurence Rosenfeldt, Irena Ross, Ritone Rudaitis, Jane and Walter Serbent have contributed a total of $ 150.00 to honor the memory of A.P.P.L.E. founder Vaiva Vebra.

This morning I, Ritone, turned in the checks received to one of the Lithuanian Mercy Lift Board members,who informed me that this evening they are having the Board Meeting! All donations will be acknowledged personally and also published in DRAUGAS and another Lithuanian newspaper as a gift from A.P.P.L.E. in memory of Vaiva.

This gift is especially meaningful since in the 1st part of 1990's in Panevezys, Myra's good friend and A.P.P.L.E. colleague, a breast cancer survivor who eventually lost her own battle, was instrumental in creating the very first support group in Lithuania for breast cancer victims. In those early days when Lithuanian Mercy Lift was primarily shipping medical supplies to the hospitals in Lithuania, this wonderful lady for at least two years shared her personal experience and knowledge with her Lithuanian sisters, their families and their physicians. In that respect she was the pioneer in this very neglected field.

Myra, if you read this post script, perhaps you could add to it, or at least disclose her name since I clearly remember her lovely face and elegance, but her name escapes me.

Sincerely,
Ritone

What I'm listening to now

Last month I mentioned listening to the Pandora internet music site, on a "Ennio Morricone" radio station. "Into the West" by Annie Lennox particularly caught my ear.

So I made a new radio station based upon that song, which has produced a suitably melancholy stream. I've been arrested by two songs, though they are not exactly on point.

The Promise, by Tracy Chapman.

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting
I've longed for you and I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

One Moment More, by Mindy Smith

Give me
Just one part of you to cling to
And keep me
Everywhere you are
It's just enough to steal my heart and run
And fade out with the falling sun

Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and keep me

As time goes on, this just gets harder and harder.

Lithuanian dinner

The fraternity house provided 20 meals a week. We were on our own on Friday nights. An informal custom arose in which someone would volunteer to cook that night, and those who were interested in participating pooled the funds for the food. The first one that I recall was John Archie's "top wop slop" spaghetti dinner.

Vaiva took the idea to a whole new level, when she created a multi-course dinner of traditional Lithuanian foods. It became an annual event.

I still remember buying food with her for the first Lithuanian dinner. The menu included jellied veal, for which Vaiva needed fresh pork hocks. We took the subway to Boston's North End, where, in addition to Paul Revere's Old North Church, there was in those days a flourishing "little Italy" enclave. We found a butcher shop untouched by modernity, with sawdust on the floor and kittens roaming freely, where we were able to purchase our necessaries.

You can see in this photo that we had flowers on the table and wine with dinner, not customary in the fraternity the rest of the week. We're up to the dessert course, pascha, sweetened farmer's cheese pressed into shaped in a flowerpot and decorated with dried fruits. That's Joe Sacco at the head of the table. I'm the waiter, Vaiva was in the kitchen.

Dress rehearsal for our marriage, come to think about it.

Vaiva and a few friends

In my role as Rush Chairman in the Spring of 1972, I needed photographs for the Rush Book, the bit of advertising that we would send to all the MIT incoming freshmen in the summer of 1972. Traditionally, our Rush Book had a photo taken on the front porch, of members in a pose that prospects would find welcoming, or intriguing. Fortunately, I had a high quality Nikkormat camera that my parents had given me for Christmas 1971, in anticipation of my January in Morocco with fraternity brother Safwan Bengelloun (a story for another day).

I took a couple dozen photos of various fraternity members in different poses, trying to getting something that would be friendly, interesting, and inviting. These included Vaiva.

The photos above and below capture the address, 259, on St. Paul St. in Brookline.

The photo below is the one that we used on the cover that year. I sort of remember it, but the giveaway is the crop markings at the edges.


Boy, was I ever skinny in those days! When I see this, I have to wonder what Vaiva saw in me?

Final piece from Draugas

[I posted Gita's comments from the funeral already, but below is the adaptation as published in Draugas.]

In the fall of 1990, when Darius Kuolys (then Minister of Education in the newly re-established republic of Lithuania) approached Jūrate Krokyte Stirbiene and Vaiva Vėbra Gust for their assistance, he envisioned that they would organize a few retired Lithuanian American educators to share their expertise with the teachers of Lithuania. Little did he know what he was about to ignite.

Jūrate, experienced in the field of special education, immediately turned her attention to work in that area. Vaiva took on the administrative task of establishing a grassroots organization, which included Americans from the United States and Canada, not all of them of Lithuanian heritage. Some, indeed, were retired educators while many were still practicing professionals. The inspired name, A.P.P.L.E.—the American Professional Partnership for Lithuanian Education—came from Vaiva‘s husband, Jim Gust. There was a lengthy equivalent name in Lithuanian, but it never caught on. Right from the beginning, the people of Lithuania did their best to pronounce A.P.P.L.E.

What exciting times those were, sitting around the dining room table in the Vėbra-Gust home, brainstorming, strategizing, working for a cause. We worked out ways to do fundraising. We established a newsletter to get our message out to the wider public. Deep down we knew that our efforts were important; we could make a difference in the education of the children of Lithuania and, therefore, in the future of the whole country.

Vaiva guided A.P.P.L.E. through the first eight years before assuming a position as Vice-minister of Education in Lithuania. Before she stepped down, Vaiva had the good sense to choose a capable successor, Emilija Sakadolskiene. In her turn, Emilija had the foresight to work out a process for insuring continued leadership for A.P.P.L.E. down to the present day with Barbara Henriques currently serving as president.

Over the years 28,000 teachers in Lithuania have attended A.P.P.L.E. courses. That is about 47%, almost half, of the teachers in Lithuania. Through our efforts fifty-nine teacher centers have been established throughout the country to support teachers all year long, not just when the A.P.P.L.E. summer seminars are running. A Lithuanian Scholars Fund was founded, and to date seventy-six teachers in Lithuania have been funded to do further research on topics that have been presented by A.P.P.L.E.

Those who have participated will readily tell you that being part of A.P.P.L.E. is a life-altering experience, and not just for the educators of Lithuania but for all of us involved in organizing and presenting to our colleagues in Lithuania as well. We all have very special memories of A.P.P.L.E. to share. We have become a family.

Although she took on other tasks over the years, Vaiva never really left us. When she served in the ministry or later as advisor to President Adamkus, Vaiva always kept contact with A.P.P.L.E. and shared with us her vision of what was important for Lithuanian education. In fact, when Vaiva went into remission after her first bout with breast cancer, she assumed the role of A.P.P.L.E. president again and organized the 2005 summer seminars. As recently as this past August, 2008, Vaiva attended the officers meeting to lend her support for the work of A.P.P.L.E.

I will be honest with you. It wasn‘t always easy working with Vaiva. She was demanding. Those of us who worked closely with her understood that she was passionate—one might even say driven—when it came to working for educational reform in Lithuania. Now that Vaiva is no longer with us, the A.P.P.L.E. family is exchanging condolenscences. As people write about Vaiva, they are using words like inspiring and guiding light. Luminary and visionary. We know that in a very real way Vaiva‘s guidance will always be with us.

The A.P.P.L.E. family mourns with the Vėbra Gust family, with Vaiva‘s husband Jim, and their wonderful children Aras, Liepa, Lokys, and Sirvydas.

Gita Kupčinskienė

Another bit from Draugas, from the current a.p.p.l.e. president

Vaiva asked me to join the A.P.P.L.E. group in 1993 to present sessions on Teacher Centers with my colleague Corinne Levin. I agreed to do this for many reasons, the chief one being my commitment to teaching and teachers. I have no Lithuanian roots, my parents were from Portugal and while I have been interested in history and knew about the Communist occupation of the Baltics at the end of World War II, that was about all I knew of Lithuania. I had shared the joy of the fall of the Berlin Wall and "Bloody Sunday" at the television tower in Vilnius, I never thought I would have the opportunity to be part of A.P.P.L.E. and assist in the development of a more democratic society through my work with teachers and Teacher Centers.

My first trip to Lithuania was one that will forever stay in my mind. While many things were different, our Lithuanian colleagues were marvelous, we worked and laughed as we tried to understand one another. We learned a lot about each other and recognized a lot of similarities in one another. We enjoyed evenings of dancing and singing. We spent weekends exploring the countryside ad learning Lithuanian History.

During our sessions, we learned more about expectations and roles related to one's position in a school. We learned how to work together and how to develop concensus in our groups. We learned how to develop needs surveys and how to identify specific strengths our colleagues might be willing to share with other colleagues. We discussed resources and recycling of resources. And at the end of our summer sessions, this first group of students witnessed the beginning of the first Teacher Center in Lithuania.

Over the years, several of the participants from these first sessions went on to study for Doctoral degrees, others moved into Administrative positions in their schools or cities or towns, others went on to become Directors of Regional Educational Authorities, and others went on to work at the PPRC or the Ministry of Education and Science.

In subsequent years, my colleague and I returned to Lithuania to work with other teachers and administrators to work on developing additional Teacher Centers. There now are 59 Teacher Centers in Lithuania, they work with teachers and administrators to implement and support innovative programs in educational policy.

I know that Vaiva was thrilled to have had A.P.P.L.E. so involved with the development of Teacher Centers in Lithuania, it was in keeping with her goals of encouraging teachers to become better prepared to meet the needs of a new, more democratic society. I will forever be thankful for the honor of being able to help with this project. It has been a defining position for me both personally and professionally.

As I write this, I am preparing for another Summer in Lithuania. I have been from one end of the country to another and have even been there in January for a series of sessions. My thoughts are with all of us who have had the honor of working with Vaiva and sharing in her spirit ans vision, we will miss her, but we are all richer for having known her and stood with her.

Dr. Barbara Henriques
A.P.P.L.E. President

15 years working with Vaiva in a.p.p.l.e.

[This is the English translation of the item from Draugas.]

I visited Lithuania for the first time in July, 1992 as part of the A.P.P.L.E. Summer Seminar. That was my first of fifteen summer seminars working with a group of dedicated and talented teachers, most of whom came from the United States but who had strong ties to Lithuania. The group’s leader in the early years was Vaiva Vebra. What a woman! As a male college professor with no roots in Lithuania, I was impressed by the group spirit and dedication to Lithuania, its teachers, and its children. But it was clear from the beginning that Vaiva channeled that spirit and directed the group’s energy for it’s most productive and practical results.

Vaiva was clearly the visionary for A.P.P.L.E. and its educational outreach. She tirelessly recruited teachers from the U. S. and Canada as seminar instructors. She also worked with the Lithuanian Ministry of Education to ensure that the Lithuanian teachers knew about the A.P.P.L.E. courses and were encouraged to attend the seminars. Over the years, Vaiva moved on to other challenges and duties within the Lithuanian Ministry of Education. But she always nurtured A.P.P.L.E.’s efforts to provide relevant, practical and current courses for Lithuania’s educators.

A.P.P.L.E. will miss Vaiva’s vision, her enthusiasm and her constant drive to contribute to the intellectual growth and development of her beloved Lithuania. But those of us who worked with her over the years will cherish happy memories of her inspired leadership and her tireless efforts to bring Lithuanian and American educators together to help Lithuanian children prepare for future challenges and opportunities.

K. Phillip Taylor
A.P.P.L.E. Past President

In the park

There was a park across the street from the fraternity house, I can't quite put my finger on its name. Above, Vaiva poses with Joe Sacco and Stew Roberts for a photo that did not make it into the rush book. Below, Vaiva is playing on the playground equipment.

In the Chapter room

Standing with Bob Brookes and Karen Midthun. I surmise that this was later in the same house cleaning session mentioned below, from the clothing. It's striking how happy and engaging Vaiva is in these photos, more evident if you click on it to enlarge.

Making bread on the front porch

Vaiva with Bob Brookes.

Vaiva at the 2004 Svente

As President of the Lithuanian-American Community, Vaiva gave a stirring speech at the 2004 Svente in Chicago. I remember that she was pleased with it, and I think I might have contributed an idea for it, but I don't have the details. I'll see if Liepa has the speech.

This photo from that event is the one Draugas used with the eulogies from the a.p.p.l.e. presidents.

Vaiva eulogized by a.p.p.l.e. presidents.

Reported in Draugas (click here).

Vaiva and Jim on Pleasant Mountain

Organic chemistry

I don't remember why I didn't take chemistry during my freshman year, but it was for the best. I took it with the freshmen the next year. Here Scott Fulton, Vaiva and I are playing with the models used for course 5.41, intro to organic chemistry. The photo was staged for publicity purposes, for our rush book.

Working

In Middle Back

By the front stairs

I believe that this was during a Saturday morning house cleaning session.

When Jim met Vaiva

Larry Hardy and Stew Roberts visited Lokys and me on Saturday. I pulled out an album that I created, Sigma Nu 1971-1972. We looked through it and, between the three of us, remembered almost all the names.

The photo above is the first photo in the album, and it is alone on the title page.

Because the title of the album was a feint, the real title should be "The Year I Met Vaiva." That becomes clear when one sees how many of the photos include her. It's the only organized collection of photos from my college years. That would be me in the center of the above photo, Vaiva is on the right, Scott Fulton is on the left. The photo was taken during a winter vacation taken by the fraternity at a ski resort, I suspect by Joe Sacco. I believe that the resort was Pleasant Mountain, but no one else can remember. Pleasant Mountain is in Maine, which seems like a long way for us to go, longer than necessary, but there you have it.

I met Vaiva on September 3, 1971, in Brookline, Massachusetts. My first conversation with her is remembered here. I did not know immediately, could not even know enough to hope, that we would become partners for life. What I did know is that whenever I was with her, I was very happy. As happy as I had ever been. And mine was not an unhappy childhood.

When we met, Vaiva was an entering freshman at MIT, I was a sophomore. In those days, MIT relied upon about 30 independent living groups, mostly fraternities, to house about a third of the incoming freshman class each year. As a consequence, every year began with an intense weekend for housing selection, euphemistically called "Rush Week." We would meet and greet freshmen on Friday and Saturday, bids went out on Sunday, bids could be accepted on Monday, the freshman would move in immediately upon acceptance.

My fraternity, Sigma Nu, went co-ed in 1970. Although "co-ed fraternity" may sound odd, we were not the only ones—the 60s were drawing to a close, after all. The transition was made with MITs blessing, and was possible because we created separate bathrooms and sleeping quarters for the sexes. The study rooms, however, were integrated.

Jack Breen, our rush chairman in 1971, visited Vaiva over the summer of 1971, and she passed his test for membership. Jack visited all the Connecticut MIT admittees that year, which was a remarkable feat, no one ever did it before or since, so far as I know. Because she had Jack's approval, Vaiva was invited to visit us Friday night. That's when I met her.

If Jack had not visited Vaiva in New Haven, would she have stopped by Sigma Nu anyway? Because I would never have met her at MIT otherwise. Upon such chances does life turn.

There was no opposition to extending bids to any of Jack Breen's Connecticut recruits, which also included Scott Fulton, Bill Dynan, John Kowaleski and Joe Sacco. I don't think I was in on the "bid," the actual invitation to Vaiva to join the fraternity. This was done in person, by a committee of two, and included a recitation of the rights and responsibilities of membership.

But I do remember encouraging her to join, with my best soft sell. And I specifically remember the moment that she "dropped," accepted the bid. We were standing in the pantry between the dining room and the kitchen. In accord with our traditions, I screamed "All right" at the top of my lungs, and the entire membership came pounding though the building to congratulate her.

Love of flowers and chocolate

Mama really loved flowers and chocolate, even more than most women, and today is a good day to enjoy those things. Also, I've taken to wearing some of Mama's clothing sometimes, and I love it, always have.

Two months

Vaiva died two months ago today.

Fireworks

I got some "fireworks" at Wal-Mart, the sort that shoot colored sparks but don't get off the ground. That was plenty of excitement for Adrija. We burned a few every night before bedtime, with Vaiva holding her granddaughter on the back porch while I worked the matches in the back yard.

Vaiva and Adrija at the Rose Garden

Vaiva and Adrija at the Rose Garden

At the Hartford Rose Garden

My parents flew out to visit in June, while Aras and Adrija were visiting us, as the chances to visit are rare. That spring Vaiva had discovered the Rose Garden in Hartford, which neither of us had known about despite living in Connecticut for 30 years. When Vaiva and I first visited, the bloom was at a peak. When we took all of our guests a couple weeks later, there were still plenty of flowers but the peak had passed.

Lunch with Adrija

June breakfast

Vaiva and Liepa enjoy morning coffee out on the lawn.

Driveway artists

June 2008 visits

Aras and Adrija visited in June 2008, ahead of the Sviente in Los Angeles. Aras was also best man at a wedding in New York on that visit.

This photo was the day that they arrived. Adrija is carrying a piece of sidewalk chalk in her hand, they are going to the driveway for an art experience. You can see from Vaiva's expression and body language her joy at being with her granddaughter. Perhaps the cruelest aspect of Vaiva's early death is that she was denied much of the opportunity to be a grandmother.

She would have been a great one.

New labels

I've gone back to add labels to some posts, now that there are more than 200 entries. The four categories so far are listed to the left (scroll back up). Please advise what other categories would be useful for navigation.

If you are looking for a particular post, there is a search box for the blog in the top left corner.

Projects

Posting the photos from the California trip took longer than I intended. Partly that's because I went to Minneapolis for my father's 80th birthday celebration, but mostly it's because I didn't want to get to the end of it. I've wanted to avoid deciding on my next step.

I'm still having trouble imagining my own post-Vaiva identity. I haven't had much experience with grief, fortunate for someone my age, but that just leaves me more bewildered.

I have a few more groups of digital photos to upload from the last few years, then I'll have to start scanning in the older ones. But that will be necessary if I begin to document the creation and early years of a.p.p.l.e., which seems like the next logical project. I'd like to convert all the early newsletters to html, to make them broadly accessible—trouble is, they were created with software that is long since obsolete and that won't run on today's hardware.

I should see what I can dig up on Vetra, on the founding of the Lithuanian Saturday school in New Britain. Family photos would be interesting as well, I imagine.

I am open to your suggestions.

Soft Recollection

For me there was a soft recollection of Vaiva - just one of many - but this involves when Vaiva took over the Vetra Dance Ensemble. The first appearance with the "new" leader, Vaiva, was at St Joseph's Church in Waterbury. It was a triumph for everyone - the group and the audience. It was a great time. But when we gave her a spring bouquet of flowers, Vaiva was in shock. She said, "These are for me???". Yes, the flowers are for you.....Vaiva was just completely taken aback at that moment. It showed me a lot about her and her soul.......I have never forgotten her look and words at that moment in time. Some events which seem so minor are in fact not really......there is a defined recollection of the event and the persons involved.....which contribute to the greated meaning of life. Patricia B. Illingworth (Meiliunas) New Haven, CT p.b.illingworth@sbcglobal.net

Return

Le Colonial Vietnamese Restaurant

For our final night, Vaiva wanted to try a Vietnamese restaurant. When we lived in New Haven the Vietnamese restaurant in Branford was one of our favorites. She had me call The Slanted Door for a reservation, but they were all booked up.

So I called Le Colonial, and they had a table for us. This was the better choice anyway, because they were within walking distance of our hotel.

We dressed in our best duds for the occasion, and I took a photo of us in the mirror. The photo at the top of the blog is another taken at the same time.

The restaurant did not disappoint, it was one of the finest dining experiences of my life. Vaiva and I narrowed our selection down to two choices, and as happened so often we had the same idea, so I got one and she got the other. I don't remember any other details, except that we were very happy.

The roof top garden at the Orchard Garden Hotel

This was another first-class hotel that Vaiva found for us. It was less than half a block to the entrance to Chinatown, and we spent an afternoon on that walk. I took photos there also, but she is not in any of them. Perhaps the most interesting parts of Chinatown were the stores catering to tourists, at the high end and the low end of affluence.

Alcatraz Island

That's it behind my right shoulder.

Ghirardelli Square

Our California sojourn ended in San Francisco. We took the cable car from our hotel, the Orchard Gardens, down to the port area--and let me tell you it wasn't easy to catch a cable car, they are way oversubscribed. We waited in line for an hour to get one for our return.

Another post mortem gift

Vaiva was a voracious reader. Each year she clipped the New York Times Book Review list of the best books of the year, and that was her reading list for the following year. My task was to find the books for her at the Russell Library. I felt another pang of loss when I saw the 2008 list published.

Vaiva loved mysteries, and lately she was reading, among others, the series by Bruce Alexander that featured Sir John Fielding. Sir John was an actual magistrate who helped form the first professional police force (wiki entry here). What's more, he was blind.

I don't have much time for reading, and I am not as fast as Vaiva was, so she suggested that I listen to the tapes of Persons or Persons Unknown, her favorite title in the series. We put a hold on the title sometime last autumn, because it was a popular one, and I forgot all about it. Last week I got the note from the Russell that it was finally available for me to pick up.

I've listened to the book, and it's very good, and read well, although rather more grisly than I expected. Vaiva hated horror movies, but wasn't so squeamish when it came to books. I never really understood that.

Big Basin

After Santa Cruz, we drove to Big Basin Redwoods State Park (website here), arriving later than we'd hoped, about 5:00 I think. The road was twisty, the driving slow. Still, we found a neat base area that had a short trail for novice hikers, one that even the slowest walker could complete in 45 minutes. That's just about how much time we had before dusk arrived in the forest.


After the hike we drove north on the narrow forest road, and because it was dark it was somewhat scary. Many places were too narrow for more than one vehicle.

Below is a living redwood whose center was burned out in a forest fire hundreds of years ago. The tree survives. If you stand where I am in the photo, you can look up through the hollow trunk to see the sky above.

Santa Cruz

After visiting Gilroy Gardens, Vaiva and I took a walk on the beach in Santa Cruz. Vaiva never missed a chance to go to the seashore.

South America continued

Because I felt as though Mama sent me to South America to live vicariously through me, I wrote her letters every day about my concerts, tourist excursions, new experiences, and friends. She asked me, what are empanadas? And she looked up the areas of Buenos Aires I liked the most on Wikipedia to learn the history behind them. I actually enjoyed Uruguay the most-- we lived with friends and met more people and drank more mate and saw more nature. Mama always wrote great letters back to me.

Argentina and Uruguay

Because she always wanted to visit South America, Mama insisted that I travel to Argentina and Uruguay when the opportunity arose to join the folk dance group Pynimelis for a 3 week tour of concerts at lietuviu bendruomenes.




We climbed mountains.



We went on nature hikes.


And we performed concerts several times a week... the hardest part was braiding the hair into our own braids in 10 minutes in the sweltering heat. But we looked professional!

More circus trees

There was more to Gilroy Gardens than these trees, but they were the most photogenic items.

Basket tree

Vaiva took this photo of me in front of the basket tree. Six separate sycamore trees were grafted together to make this oddity.